One of my favorite parts of working in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy is witnessing a child’s first genuine connection with a peer. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as sharing a toy, other times it’s hearing a child say, “Can I play, too?”For children with autism, that moment of connection can take time — and a lot of intentional teaching — but it’s one of the most meaningful milestones we celebrate.

A few years ago, I worked with a little boy named Lucas. He loved trains, but he preferred playing alone, repeating the same routines with his toy tracks. During group sessions, he often turned away when other children tried to join. We introduced structured peer interactions — starting with a shared activity using trains — and reinforced even the smallest moments of engagement. 

Over several weeks, Lucas began waiting for his peer to add a train car before continuing his own play. That small act of cooperation marked a turning point: Lucas wasn’t just playing next to someone anymore, he was playing with them.

That’s what ABA therapy for fostering friendships is all about — creating the foundation for children with autism to understand, enjoy, and participate in social relationships that help them thrive.

Why Friendships Can Be Challenging for Children with Autism

Research consistently shows that children with autism often face difficulties forming and maintaining friendships due to differences in communication, social understanding, and sensory processing. Studies from the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders highlight that many autistic children want friends but struggle to interpret social cues like tone of voice, eye contact, or facial expressions (Bauminger & Kasari, 2000).

Friendship skills don’t just appear spontaneously — they’re learned and practiced over time. That’s why ABA therapy plays such a vital role. It provides structured, evidence-based methods for teaching the building blocks of social relationships, one skill at a time.

How ABA Therapy Helps Foster Friendships

In ABA, social development is approached with the same scientific precision as any other skill — through observation, data collection, reinforcement, and generalization. The therapist breaks down complex social behaviors into teachable components, helping children understand what friendship looks like and feels like.

Let’s explore how this happens step by step.

Building Functional Communication

Communication is the foundation of all relationships. Many children with autism experience communication delays or differences, which can make connecting with peers difficult.

ABA therapy teaches both verbal and nonverbal communication — from using spoken words to picture exchange or augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) devices. According to research published in Behavior Analysis in Practice (2019), early interventions that target communication also enhance social interaction outcomes.

When children learn how to make requests, share interests, or respond to others, they begin forming the early building blocks of friendship.

Teaching Social Reciprocity

Social reciprocity — the back-and-forth flow of interaction — doesn’t always come naturally for autistic children. In therapy, we focus on turn-taking, imitation, and shared attention to build this skill.

For example, a therapist might start by prompting a child to roll a ball back and forth with a peer. Reinforcing that simple exchange helps the child learn that communication is mutual and rewarding. Over time, this can expand to more complex exchanges like cooperative play or conversation.

Understanding Emotions and Social Cues

Research in developmental psychology shows that understanding others’ emotions (a skill known as theory of mind) can be particularly challenging for individuals on the spectrum. ABA therapy incorporates activities that teach children to recognize facial expressions, tone of voice, and context.

We might use visuals showing different emotions or role-play social situations:

• “What does a friend look like when they’re happy?”

• “What should I do if a friend looks sad?”

These lessons help children begin to empathize — to see beyond their own perspective and respond appropriately to others.

Encouraging Cooperative Play

Play-based interventions are central to ABA therapy for social skills. Cooperative play allows children to experience joy, problem-solving, and shared success — the essence of friendship.

Therapists use structured play sessions that balance guidance and independence. Early on, we might focus on parallel play (playing side by side) before moving to associative play (sharing materials) and eventually cooperative play (working toward a shared goal).

Play sessions are designed to be motivating and fun, often incorporating a child’s special interests. When therapy feels joyful, children are more likely to engage and connect.

Supporting Emotional Regulation

A big part of maintaining friendships is managing emotions during challenges. For children with autism, frustration, sensory overload, or changes in routine can make social interactions overwhelming.

ABA therapy incorporates coping strategies such as deep breathing, asking for breaks, or using visual supports to signal feelings. Emotional regulation training helps children stay calm and engaged, making it easier to sustain positive interactions with peers.

Generalizing Social Skills Beyond the Therapy Room

One of the cornerstones of effective ABA is generalization — ensuring skills learned in therapy occur naturally in everyday life.

This means we don’t just practice social skills in a clinic; we take them into real environments. A therapist might visit a playground, school, or home setting to help the child apply learned behaviors in authentic situations. Parents and teachers are also coached on how to reinforce social interactions consistently.

Studies have found that parent involvement in ABA programs significantly improves generalization of social skills (Koegel et al., 2012). When everyone uses the same reinforcement methods, children see consistent results and grow more confident in their interactions.

Practical Ways Parents Can Encourage Friendships at Home

Parents play a key role in nurturing friendship skills outside of therapy. Here are a few strategies that can complement ABA goals:

• Create low-pressure play opportunities: Start with short, structured playdates involving one familiar child. Choose predictable, sensory-friendly activities.

• Use social stories: These short narratives can prepare your child for what to expect during social interactions, helping reduce anxiety.

• Model social language: Use simple phrases like “Can I play?” or “Your turn!” in everyday life.

• Celebrate every success: Reinforce even the smallest steps toward interaction, like a shared smile or gesture.

• Collaborate with your ABA team: Share what works and what doesn’t at home so strategies can stay aligned across settings.

Why Friendships Matter Beyond Childhood

The benefits of fostering friendships go far beyond playtime. Research shows that positive peer relationships are linked to improved self-esteem, reduced anxiety, and better long-term outcomes for individuals with autism (Mendelson et al., 2016).

Friendships also teach critical life skills — communication, flexibility, empathy, and problem-solving — that continue to support independence in adolescence and adulthood.

As an ABA clinician, watching these social transformations is deeply rewarding. When a child learns to connect with others, it’s not just behavior change — it’s human connection at its most genuine.

Partnering with Blossom ABA Therapy

At Blossom ABA Therapy, we believe friendships are a vital part of every child’s development. Our individualized ABA therapy programs are designed to build the communication, emotional, and social skills that lay the groundwork for meaningful relationships.

We offer:

• Home-based ABA for personalized practice in real environments

• Center-based ABA for structured peer interaction and group play

• School-based ABA for skill-building in classroom and social settings

Blossom ABA proudly serves families across Georgia, Tennessee, Virginia, and North Carolina.

Contact Blossom ABA Therapy today to learn how our compassionate, evidence-based approach can help your child develop the confidence and skills to build lasting friendships.

FAQs 

Can ABA therapy really help my child make friends?

Yes. ABA therapy targets the communication, emotional, and social skills needed to initiate and maintain friendships. Research consistently supports its effectiveness for improving social engagement in children with autism.

What social skills are taught in ABA therapy?

ABA therapy teaches skills such as turn-taking, sharing, greetings, recognizing emotions, initiating play, and responding to peers — all essential for developing friendships.

How can parents support friendship goals at home?

Encourage playdates, model positive interactions, and reinforce social behaviors. Partnering closely with your child’s ABA therapist ensures consistent progress across all settings.

Sources:

• https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/making-friends

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8992803/

• https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1523506/full

• https://www.marcus.org/autism-resources/autism-tips-and-resources/helping-kids-with-autism-make-friends

• https://educationonline.ku.edu/community/communication-difficulties-in-autism-spectrum-disorder